Starting the Conversation: How to Talk About Scams

Sonny
January 9, 2025
8 Minute

How to Talk to Loved Ones About Scams: Tips for Having Effective and Non-Judgmental Conversations with Family and Friends

Scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated, and it’s no longer just strangers who are at risk. Even those we care about most—our family and friends—can fall victim to fraudulent schemes. While it’s easy to think that scams only affect others or those who should “know better,” the reality is that anyone can be deceived. This makes it crucial to have open, honest conversations about scams with the people we care about, but approaching these discussions with sensitivity and empathy is key.

Here’s how to talk to your loved ones about scams in a way that feels supportive, non-judgmental, and ultimately helpful.

1. Start the Conversation with Empathy

When you approach a loved one about potential scams, the most important thing to keep in mind is empathy. The person you’re speaking to might feel embarrassed or defensive if they’ve already fallen for a scam, or they might be reluctant to acknowledge the possibility of being targeted in the future. It’s important to avoid coming across as critical or dismissive.

Instead, start with phrases like:

  • “I’ve been hearing about scams lately, and I wanted to share some information with you just in case.”
  • “I know that these things can happen to anyone, and I want to make sure you’re protected.”
  • “I’ve been learning about scams and thought it might be helpful to share what I’ve found.”

By framing the conversation as a helpful discussion, rather than an intervention, you open the door to a more relaxed, open dialogue.

2. Educate, Don’t Lecture

People tend to become defensive when they feel they’re being lectured to, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like personal finances. Instead of giving a long-winded lecture on the dangers of scams, provide clear, digestible information.

Break the conversation down into simple, actionable points:

  • Highlight common signs of a scam (e.g., unexpected urgent requests for money, strange phone calls from “official” sources).
  • Share specific types of scams that are trending or targeting people in your community.
  • Provide resources, such as links to trusted websites where they can learn more or report suspicious activity.

Remember, you’re not trying to teach them everything in one conversation—just provide them with enough information to recognize potential red flags and seek help when needed.

3. Use Real-Life Examples

People often relate better to stories and examples, so use real-life scenarios to explain the risks. You could share stories of scams that have impacted others, whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a news report. This helps the conversation feel less abstract and more tangible.

For example:

  • “I heard about a scam recently where someone received a fake email claiming to be from their bank, asking for account info. It seemed really official, but the person realized it was a scam after talking to the bank.”
  • “A friend of mine almost got tricked into wiring money overseas because of a call that seemed to be from their grandchild. Luckily, they checked in with the family first.”

Personal stories can spark a sense of urgency and help your loved ones relate to the conversation more directly.

4. Be Patient and Non-Judgmental

Even if someone you care about has already fallen for a scam, it’s crucial to remain patient and understanding. Shame and guilt can be significant barriers to seeking help, and no one wants to feel as though they’re being blamed for their mistakes. Approach the conversation in a way that encourages openness, not defensiveness.

  • Instead of saying, “How could you fall for that?” try, “It’s easy to get caught up in these situations—scammers are getting really clever.”
  • If they admit to being scammed, offer reassurance: “It happens to more people than you might think. Let’s figure out how to protect you from this in the future.”

Make sure your loved one knows that your goal is to help, not to judge or criticize.

5. Offer Practical Solutions and Resources

Talking about scams is helpful, but providing practical steps is essential. Help your loved ones take proactive measures to protect themselves from future scams. This could include setting up tools, accounts, or habits that make them less vulnerable.

Here are some actions you can suggest:

  • Set up two-factor authentication for online accounts.
  • Encourage regular credit report checks to spot any signs of fraud.
  • Use secure passwords and change them regularly.
  • Register for the National Do Not Call Registry to reduce unsolicited phone calls.
  • Consider investing in anti-fraud software or identity theft protection services.
  • For continuous, more personalized protection throughout the day, consider a TextSonny membership.

If possible, help them implement these steps together, so they feel supported in their efforts to safeguard themselves.

6. Create Ongoing Conversations

Rather than having a one-time “talk,” aim to create an ongoing dialogue about scams. This helps reduce any stigma around the topic and ensures your loved ones feel comfortable coming to you if they’re ever uncertain about something. Let them know you’re always available to help and that it’s okay to ask questions.

Check in with them occasionally to see if they’ve encountered any suspicious emails, messages, or calls. Remind them that you’re looking out for their well-being and are there to help them stay informed.

7. Normalize the Conversation

The more comfortable we are talking about scams, the less likely we are to fall victim to them. Normalize the idea that scams can happen to anyone, regardless of age, intelligence, or experience. By making these discussions a regular part of your interactions, you help remove the fear and shame surrounding them.

For example, you might bring up scams casually during a family dinner or in a group text. You could say things like, “I just read about a new scam that’s been going around. Has anyone else heard about it?” By framing these conversations as part of normal life, you make it easier for everyone to talk about them without feeling self-conscious.

Final Thoughts

Talking to loved ones about scams doesn’t have to be an awkward or uncomfortable conversation. By approaching the topic with empathy, offering clear and actionable advice, and keeping the dialogue open and non-judgmental, you can help protect your family and friends from falling victim to fraud. Scams are constantly evolving, but with the right tools, knowledge, and support, your loved ones can stay one step ahead of scammers. Ultimately, the goal is to foster a sense of trust and teamwork, so that everyone feels empowered to recognize, resist, and report scams as they arise.